QUO VADIS?
I was on my laptop going through the blogs submitted by our brothers and sisters for the CFC Vietnam website when I chanced upon the write-up that my wife wrote. I was reading Haydee’s blog on being a parent (I dared not edit it for fear of my life) when suddenly my mind was suddenly alit with an epiphany.
There is this speech that my father made for me when I was 10 years old, which for some weird and geekish reason, I still remember verbatim (or so I think) up to this day. Maybe my brain neurons were just working overtime (something which I currently miss) when I was younger, hence the embedded memory. Maybe I just liked the way the speech was written. Or maybe I thought it could be of some use especially in courting the ladies (I’ve heard that some women like their men to be deep and profound. Though I seem to recall it only worked on one person out of several tries and that’s one reason why I married her). It was only when I read Haydee’s blog when I realized that the speech written by my father 20 years ago, above anything else, was all about the responsibilities of parents to their children. My father wrote:
Quo vadis? Where are you going?
Eversince this has been the oft-repeated question asked of the youth by the adults. Sometimes it is asked with mixed emotions – with sarcasm, frustration or even despair. At other times it is not even asked. But by body language, with the wink of an eye or a shrug of the shoulders, the youth can easily discern the unspoken sarcasm, frustration, despair or the “bahala na” attitude of the adults. It seems society looks upon the youth as insignificant cogs in life, that the youth have been aimlessly wandering in the maelstrom of life. Like water lilies, aimlessly floating with the flow of the water, which rolls in every direction – where he is pushed and that every time he does something wrong, everybody remembers. But every time he does something right, every body forgets.
Yes, the young has been misunderstood. He has been neglected. He has been forgotten. In the midst of this confused and troubled world, one of the greatest tragedies of life is the loss of identity of the youth. He keeps searching for it, unguided, neglected and misunderstood, eventually finding himself later enmeshed in a quagmire of vices – drug addition, gangs and other destructive vices. What a disfigurement of youth’s pristine beauty! What a blow to the hope of the fatherland!
Faced with the circumstances, the youth is crying – “Out of the depths of my heart, I cry to you my elders for your love and understanding. My mind is as young as my ideals. My heart is as young as my love. What I need most is your ever-present willingness to share with me your time and guidance because you love me”.
Let not that parting statement of a young man before he was strapped to the electric chair repeat itself. For with quivering voice and tears from his eyes he cried, “Mama! Papa! When I needed you most where were you? Where were you…”
Alone he is lonely. Alone he is hopeless. Alone his ideals are mere stirrings and his love is a mere outpouring of his human mind and heart. He desires to love and be loved.
You, our elders, are the vital hubs in this interplay of love not just in words but in action. Bonded by love we ask you, give us a place to stand and we will move the world. Together, we can make a community of love, justice and peace. For with your love, the youth will survive!
Such a simple and yet incisive literary piece!
As parents we cannot take our kids for granted. In our hands lies their future. In our hands their lives depend on. God gave us a big responsibility. And as my wife puts it succinctly, God thinks we’re good enough to be the guardian of another life.
We have to love them, guide them, care for them and be always there for them. Not to control them but to teach them – teach them about life, trials and failures, love and hurt, honor and integrity, and above all else, about God and His saving grace. Not to dominate them but to be their friend and confidante – to listen, to cry with and for them, to talk to them and to hold them close to our hearts.
As parents, we cannot just stand by with folded arms and obvious condescension. We have to be actively involved in the physical, emotional and spiritual growth of our children. We have to be shining exemplars to them of a life centered on Christ, family and the community.
And now that I’m no longer that chubby 10-year old but a doting father and husband, these words written decades ago now holds an even more special meaning. It serves as a constant reminder to me about my responsibilities as a parent.
Quo Vadis? Where am I going?
I’m going through life with my family with Christ as our shining beacon of hope, love and salvation.
God bless us all.
(Jan Spencer Chavez, CFC Vietnam)
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